How I Spent My Summer Vacation
President George Bush: "We like to take a month or so down here to the ranch in Crawford. It sure is a beautiful place and it beats the daylights out of Washin'ton. But when you're President, ya don't really have a vacation, if ya know what I mean. The world keeps turnin' and ya gotta keep up with it in meetin's and on the phone. But the ranch is a good place to mix business with pleasure. Like the other day when Lance Armstrong came by for some bikin'. That Lance is a good ol' Texas boy... Did y'all know he won that French bike deal eight or nine times?... Anyway, I was out back with Rumsfeld when ol' Lance came around the house and saw us. 'Am I interruptin' anything?' he asked. I looked at him and said, 'We're plannin' World War III.' Lance's eyes got all big and he asked,'World War III? What're we gonna do?' I shot him a look and said,'We're gonna kill a hundred forty million Muslims... and one blonde with big hooters.' He got this confused look and asked, 'Why are we gonna kill a blonde with big hooters?' I looked over at Rummy and said, 'See? I told ya no one would care about a hundred forty million Muslims.' ...hee-hee... We laughed on that one all afternoon. Hey, on your way out, ya'll oughta keep a lookout for Joan Baez. Someone tol' me she's givin' a free concert down by my mailbox. Gotta go..
I'm on a beer run for the chairman of Halliburton. ... hee-hee... Jus' kiddin'. See y'all back in D.C." .... Grief-Diva Cindy Sheehan: "Don't you watch TV? I'm Cindy Sheehan. Everybody knows what I've been doing this summer. I'm a great story... all day and every day! It's hard to believe this whole thing started about a month ago as a simple reunion of some of my unemployed friends from the '60's. We thought we'd kill a month camping in a pasture in the middle of Nowhere County, Texas, reminisce about Woodstock, undermine the war effort and just generally try to piss off the President. Anyway, we were hitting the bong in the car on the way over from Vacaville listening to Air America when I...I mean, someone had this big idea! What with the White House press corps living right up the road in the Waco Econo-Lodge... and none of us having anything better to do all day long... we figured I... me, Cindy... could get their attention... and I could get lots of TV time... as the mother of a dead war hero. I... I mean, we... also figured, since the press doesn't like America any more than we do, I could make all kinds of outrageous and stupid statements unchallenged... especially if I was crying. Well, it worked out better than I... er, we... ever imagined! Thanks to a five-dollar bushel of onions and the freedom fighters who killed my son, I've been on the air more than Regis Philbin, and everybody knows who I am. I should have my book and movie deals signed in the next couple of days. And it looks like the 'Pity-Cindy-Palooza Tour' is a 'go' in September! The only downside so far is that most of the people who like me are in Syria, my family thinks I'm crazy, my husband just divorced me and Karl Rove gave my mother a stroke (Howard Dean told me so, and he's a doctor). Anyway, my 'fifteen minutes' are just about up, so I've got to hurry. My handlers tell me the President is heading to the Crawford Brew-Thru, and I need to get over there. I've still got to get into make-up and the van is running, so I can't talk now. But if you haven't had your fill of Cindy, you can find me all over the cable news shows all weekend... or just catch my act Monday on the Today Show.
Katie loves me!".... The American Marine in Iraq: "How the hell do you think I spent my summer? Not that I'd expect you to find out from the New York Times or that AP reporter hiding under his bed at the Baghdad Hilton, but we've been pretty damn busy... and it hasn't exactly been a vacation. Between killing the sand-rats pouring in from Syria and trying to avoid the Iranian bombs planted in the roads, we're building schools and hospitals, training Iraqi soldiers, digging wells for people who never had fresh water and pretty much just buying these people some time to stand on their own two feet. It would all go a lot smoother if the only people taking shots at us were over here and not on CNN. At least here we can return fire. I'm not complaining, though. Everyone here volunteered for the job and we're doing good things. And I'm grateful my mother would never make an ass of herself all over the TV back home. But, man, now that you mention it... I sure could use some cold beers and a couple days off."....
posted by Steve's America at 9:00 AM
9 Comments:
Wait. Let's go to the American soldier section here. First off, no one, at least no one in the mainstream and not CNN have ever specifically made attacks at soldiers. No one is calling soldiers baby-killers or spitting on them, its not Vietnam. So if someone says that we don't belong over there anymore, the policy critique implied there is directed at the president not soldiers. But more importantly, saying that we should get out is an attempt to get the soldiers out of harms way and into safety. It is not their fault they are over there and no one says it is. Or are you taking the position that anyone disagreeing with any military operation (we arent talking hippies here, just normal people who dont want their children to die in a desert in a place God forgot ages ago) is actively working against the soldiers? If so, you are sadly mistaken and it is those people, in fact, that are the most dangerous since they seek to hide the horrors of war or divert attention elsewhere if things go wrongly putting more ogf these men (who sacrifice everything for you) in danger. Are you so sure they just want you to cheer their superior officers along all day or do you think they would prefer your thoughts and support but also an active homeland who prevents those who control their fate from putting them into unnecessary danger?
If you want to read what the press just doesn't have the time or guts to report read this. This is how those red neck soldiers are spending their summer -- very impressive.
http://michaelyon.blogspot.com/
the best this country has to offer
Dear anonymous,
You said: "No one is calling soldiers baby-killers or spitting on them, its not Vietnam."
To the contrary, those outrageous claims are being made regularly these days in America and abroad. And not by mere fringe crackpots, either. The Vietnam analogy is drawn daily by such prominent elected crackpots as Ted Kennedy and Chuck Hagel, to name but two. A senator (even a bad one) should know better. You might also want to look into the vile Code Pink demonstrations at Walter Reed Hospital. These swell folks are Cindy's friends and enablers and are not elevating the debate or helping the effort.
You said: "But more importantly, saying that we should get out is an attempt to get the soldiers out of harms way and into safety. It is not their fault they are over there and no one says it is."
We have a volunteer military. No one is there except by a choice they made. The best way to ensure their safety is not to second-guess their mission, but to give them everything they need... in material and moral support... to execute the mission successfully as soon as possible. If I have a problem with the war it is that we are not executing it with sufficient brutality. We have the means to do more, but we're holding back a lot of might. But that's for military professionals to decide. Not me... and not you.
Dear Dan the Man,
I've read about Michael Yon and appreciate you passing along the link to his terrific blog. I've bookmarked it and will add a link to Steve's America. Thanks.
I just read about the Code Pink stuff. They are a joke and such a fringe cult that someone should just send 5 people over there to punch them all in the face. And your point about resources is well taken, but if that is true, then you have much more against this administration than you may have been willing to admit. The initial lack of proper armor on vehicles, the lack of soldiers; thats whats drawing the Vietnam comparisons and the the DOD's fault. Raise taxes, do whatever, but at least give the people who are fighting for you every advantage possible. But then the next question is, at what point does it become clear that the mission is impossible? (Im not saying that it is either, Im just asking if you had a point in mind)
Steve,
Here's another link from an article by Christopher Hitchens. And, this guy is no hard core right wing neocon. He is a writer for Vanity Fair. Somewhat of a progressive voice. He makes some very convincing arguments. So, when all the self loathing Americans chant their mantras about -- fill in the blank -- Haliburton, Oil, Nazis, blah, blah, blah, etc., ad naseum, recommend they read this article. http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/005/995phqjw.asp?pg=1
Poor Cindy Sheehan,
Here is a woman who chose NOT to have an abortion and yet, when the natural progression of LIFE is interrupted, she is a nothing more than one woman out who wants to stop "loss of life", just not the way some want to.
Yeah, Steve's America...always backing the polls.
P.S. - I spent my summer growing heirloom tomatoes, working towards an hoping the best for all in the world well and paying a small (well, not so small) fortune for every fill up in gas...and taxes.
E "does my vote even COUNT?" G
Dear El,
Of course your vote... and your opinon... counts. This is Steve's America!
And Cindy Sheehan is entitled to her opinion, too. But she's not entitled to spin her son's death to support her political views. Casey Sheehan voluntarily enlisted. I believe he also voluntarily RE-enlisted. And, we're told, he volunteered for the mission that cost him his life. He obviously had a different perspective than his mother. Cindy's cause is not about anything as noble as "life." Her agenda is simple politics, her son's choices and sacrifice be damned.
I paid $2.799 a gallon for high test the other day in my part of Steve's America. Outrageous. But the war in Iraq is not to blame. The hot economies in India and China are eating up supplies. Be that as it may, I'll bet your tomatoes are better than any they grow anywhere in Asia.
Taxes ARE too high... on gas and everything else.
Well everyone knows that Jersey tomatoes ARE the best. My wasabi root on the other hand ain't so great
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