Under the Big Top
Casting Call for Candidates. Four hundred Springer-Americans representing the Democrat Leadership Council gathered in Columbus, Ohio this week to frighten the locals, stiff waitresses and anoint Hillary Rodham as the best candidate they can come up with to lead the circus back to the White House in 2008. But they also acknowledge even their best can't do it without duping enough dummies into believing their party represents "the mainstream" of America. The DLC spent two days telling each other their Alpo-of-ideas will taste like an ice cream sundae to plenty of stupid voters if it is just packaged a little differently. For her part, Rodham is running as fast as she can to the middle. But so far, it looks like those thick ankles are slowing her down. Both liberals and conservatives agree that Bill's enabler is clearly the former. The American Conservative Union gave her a score of 0 (zero... zip... nada out of 100) for her 2004 voting record. Her "Progressive (read liberal) Punch" score of 91.63% ranked her as the 11th most liberal of 100 Senators....Labor Pains for Her Heinous? Don't worry, Hillary's not spawning again. (Insert your favorite Web-Hubbell-is-Chelsea's-real-father joke here.) The excitement swirling around Hillary's ascension to leadership of the "centrist" DLC was greeted with a snort and a "See ya!" from the Teamsters as well as the Service Employees International Union when both bolted from the AFL-CIO on Monday. Other unions are rumored to be following soon. These defections of shrinking-but-still-important traditional Democrat labor allies portend potential problems for the party's future. Why did they leave? According to Teamster President Jimmy Hoffa, Jr., "Hey, we've got a strong stomach for extortion, lies, bribery and physical intimidation... we'll even wack somebody now and then. That's business. But even we have limits to corruption. This lockstep alliance with the AFL-CIO and the Democrat Party is ruining our good name. Besides, our people work for a living. What do we have in common with people like John Kerry or Hillary Clinton?".... "Who loves ya, Baby?" In the case of Chelsea Clinton-Rodman, it's a love-struck African government official. News sources tell us this week that Godwin Kipkimoi Chepkurgor of Kenya has offered the disgraced, impeached president (D.I.P.) Bill Rodman 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter's hand in marriage. At last report, the negotiations continue with the DIP holding firm to his demand for the barnyard animals plus a new Callaway driver and sixteen replacement tires for his Presidential Library.... Happy birthday, Mary Jo Kopechne, you would have been 65-years old this week and eligible for the many benefits your killer is peddling in today's Senate. For those of you under 40 and hamstrung by an irrational reliance on information from the lamestream media, former Kennedy-staffer Mary Jo suffocated slowly in the trunk of Democrat Ted Kennedy's Oldsmobile in 1969 as the "Lion of the Left" swam-like-Spitz to save his own political viability. The entire unseemly event cost Uncle Ted more than the 40 goats and 20 cows Mr. Chepkurgor offered for the Klintons' kid. It cost the family a Camelot-redux and whatever they had to pay the surviving Kopechnes to klam up....
posted by Steve's America at 8:19 PM
6 Comments:
Stevesamerica- While I agree with much of your comedic and political analysis of the competency of Hillary you must stop with the word puns (democRat).
Dear anonymous,
I'll think about it.
Say what? don't even think about it...I love the word puns. Keep them coming.
"What do we have in common with people like John Kerry or Hillary Clinton?"
Thank God most Americans have all owned basbeball teams, ran corporations into the ground, skipped out on serving in the armed services and got into Yale with sub-par grades. At least we can identify with our current Commander-in-Chief. Who ran, as I recall, leaning much further left than he does now (I sure don't feel like I am part of a unified America, I did with Dutch!).
"Lock Step Alliance?"
See RNC/NRA
"The DLC spent two days telling each other their Alpo-of-ideas will taste like an ice cream sundae to plenty of stupid voters if it is just packaged a little differently."
And speaking of stupid voters, how many poor Americans voted for W because they thought that gay marriage and the inheritance tax was the biggest threat to their lives rather than a lack of health care coverage and an educational system that, while crumbling, at least supllies the armed forces with enough bodies to be killed so GWB could have Saddam's gun.
Dear Mr. Guapo,
I, too, wish we had a self-made leader like The Gipper instead of professional politicians and taxpayer-supported lifelong elitists.
From the left and the right, wrong-minded people are trying to impose their idea of morality, legislate unreasonable outcomes and appropriate our "stuff" in pursuit of their own agendas. They need to leave us alone.
Smaller government is better government. Except for the military.
Steve:
Where did you get the great picture of Tom Noe and the attendees (corrupted Republican State officials) at the last Noe Supper Club celebration at Morton's?
Post a Comment
<< Home