Enemies... Foreign and Domestic

Time to sell that '58 Chevy Bel Air on eBayCubano. Jimmy Carter's favorite Carribean crackpot, Fidel Castro, this week generously acceeded to the needs of his people by more-than-doubling the minimum wage in Cuba from 100 pesos ($4.50) to 225 pesos ($10) per month. That's right... per month. Effective May 1, plumbers, carpenters, undertakers and heart surgeons in Cuba will be able to buy that 50's era Norge refrigerator in half the time it would have taken before the raise. And if they can just hang in there a couple more years, the 78-year-old communist dictator has promised they will be able to buy some electricity to make the thing run some of the time. One can only imagine the dreams of young Elian Gonzalez tonight. A scant few years ago he was rescued at gunpoint by the Butcher of Waco, Janet Reno, and spared a life of unspeakable horror in Miami. When she returned him to the peoples' paradise of Cuba, the androgynous Attorney General guaranteed young Elian a crystal-clear future, unclouded by his own aspirations and expectations. Tonight, thanks to Fidel Castro and the actions of a political hack, Elian will curl up in a bed of soiled rags, gaze through the hole in the roof of Dad's tar-paper shack and wish upon the same stars that shine over "what-could-have-been" only ninety miles away.... "Barbarella's Life, so far." Communist sycophant and aging aerobics instructor Jane Fonda left a recent book-signing in Texas sporting a squirt of Skoal, compliments of an unimpressed Vietnam veteran. While the unexpected expectoration could be construed by some as a provocative review of the author's work, it begs an interesting question. Does a 35 year belly full of boiling bile justify launching a loogie at the traitor who aided and abetted your enemy while you and your brothers were fighting and dying on battlefields and in prison camps? Let's just say that Hanoi Jane should be grateful to be wearing a gooey brown necklace instead of a noose... OK, I lost ten zlotys on the Pope bet. Based on today's exchange rate, I'm down $3.04. The new Pope is a German... not an Italian. Fine. But is anyone out there as amused as I am that the media is bemoaning the fact that the guy's a Catholic? You've got to know that, if their liberal bleats gain traction, the next Commissioner of Major League Baseball will be called upon to eliminate strikes, outs, overhand pitching, umpires and scoreboards.... Et tu, George? According to TIME magazine Ann Coulter once said, "There are a lot of bad Republicans; there are no good Democrats." This week's too-long list of bad pubbies is headed by Senator George Voinovich (R-Mars). It seems the President has nominated a flame-thrower named John Bolton to be our ambassador to Kofi Annan's freak show on the East River. The President and Mr. Bolton think the corrupt UN needs some fixin'. Yet, despite taking the time to miss all of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearings on the nominee, Senator Voinovich couldn't support him. The reason? He was concerned about Mr. Bolton's "interpersonal skills." Hello? An "interpersonal skills" litmus test for a nominee we're throwing into a third world sewer? Give him a tetanus shot and turn him loose. Apparently, and mostly due to some radio advertising back home ratting out his stupidity, George is now straining to sprout a small pair. He's being forced to choose between a cozy seat at a Christopher Dodd dinner party and the national security interests of his constituents. As we post, the senator from Cleveland is leaning toward supporting Bolton's confirmation. No doubt his vote will be cast more for personal political survival than for any high-minded concern for our sovreignty and safety. But at this point, we just want the right vote. And we're watching you, George.